My friend James went through brain surgery for arteriovenous malformations (AVM) this past wkend. He has remained sedated under careful watch for the past 6 days. Everyday his wife has been updating us by sharing letters she is writing to James... my heart goes out to them.

Dearest Ba b,

This morning (April 19) around 11am, they finally had someone put the PICC line on your right arm. They used ultrasound to assist the procedure. Then they used X-ray to confirm the position of the PICC line. This line will be used to continue feeding you nutrient (TPN). The whole process took about 1 1/2 hours. So the nurse told me to go home and come back later.

At 3pm, I came back to CCU with your Dad and Mom. The PICC line has been successfully placed in your right arm and up to the area above your heart. Today (April 19) was the second day that they stop using the sedative drugs. The nurse told us that you moved your right arm, right leg and your head slightly throughout the day. When we walked into the room, you opened your eyes and looked at us directly. (last night you opened your eye lids but your eyes were not looking at us. The eyeballs were rolling up.)

You also moved your right arm toward me and slightly opened up your palm. I know you want to hold my hand. So I put my hand into your plam and you held me with strength. I miss the warm feeling of your hand. I miss holding hands with you. After a week of not able to touch you (because they didn't want to stimulate your brain too much), I finally got a chance to hold your hand. I totally can feel the love from you through this simple gesture. Even though you may not be conscious, but I know you live again. I know you come back to us. Ba b, I really miss you! I cannot describe my feeling. It is so amazing to hold your hand again ----- my small hand was totally covered by the warmth of your large hand (Before, you always say that I have much smaller hand compare to yours). When I was holding your hand, I told you that I will always support you. I told you to be strong and rely on the Lord. All the brothers and sisters are supporting you through prayers. Before we left the room, your parents also talked to you briefly. They are happy to see your response (even though your response may not be voluntary).

Ba b, I know it is still a long way to go. But don't be afraid. God is holding your hand and my hand. We will walk this challenging path together. Don't forget our lovely Joanna, she will also hold your hand and we will move forward as a family! I love you. See you tonight.
-A