Alone in the City

Just the other night, my old buddy Chris called me up just to chat. He and I have known each other since tennis camp the summer before I started high school, but we have not kept in touch very well over the years. Chris is back from going to school in SanLuisObispo and currently commutes fr SF everyday to SJ for work. As he and I were chatting, he mentioned how he felt like he has friends everywhere else but here. He has friends in South Bay, in LA, in other parts of the country, and even in Tawain. He just does not have them here in the city, where he physically resides. Sometimes he just wants to kick back and watch TV, grab dinner, go to a movie, check out a club or an event in the city, but there is no one to call for something so simple and so low-key. I find myself totally understanding my friend Chris. Why do I constantly want to be out of town visiting someone in Virginia, seeing an old roommate in New York, or just hanging out with a childhood friend in Seattle? I feel as if I am constantly itching to be elsewhere than here. The relationships I have developed with people in the city over the past year, minus a select few and family members, have not been quality. Sometimes I think they are not even relationships but merely time past with activity partners. I don't mind having ME time, alone and away from the business of life itself... but then sometimes I just want to call up a buddy, someone who really knows me and accepts me for my strengths and downfalls, to hang out at a cafe or pop in a dvd to pass some down time... and when I flip open my cell phone and scroll through the 100 plus numbers stored in it, I realize that I have no one to call, no one for something so simple and so low-key. The feeling of being alone... just does not sit well with me.

Maybe I have just been thinking about all this ALONE stuff b/c several ppl have been telling me about spending Xmas alone and Christmas alone. I don't know.