Saying Goodbye

My freshmen year in college was one of the most amazing and most positively memorable years in my short life. That year could arguably be the apogee of my college career, and even my entire life. To confirm how strongly that year impacted me, when the time arrived for me to depart from campus, and more importantly, from my best friend Marisa, I cried like the biggest baby. If you know me at all, you know that is entirely uncharacteristic of how I am normally. Never would you find me disheveled and lost in emotion like that; to me, crying expresses intense emotion, and not often am I pushed to that end of the spectrum. Tears were shed because I was still in awe of how incredible the year turned out and how much I will miss being there to encounter more experiences with my best friend. Sure, I was overcome by the moment of separation from my best friend. I realized that we had found an identity in each other. Marisa gave me a part of her that year, a part of her that grew me as a person and as a child of God. She had put her confidence in me, and I in her. Throughout the months of that freshmen year, we grew to respect each other, to confide in each other, and to share our secrets with one another. I had been blessed by her presence… God showered His love upon me through this extraordinary person! Because of this unmatched experience and growth, my emotions WERE pulled, and though I instructed myself to not be sad, deep down my heart sank low and came to accept this sadness and temporary separation. Being apart for the three summer months seemed almost a loss to me. I do not deal well with losing people, whether as a result of proximity changes or the nature of life. Perhaps the potential uncertainties that lay ahead mystified me. Or, simply, I knew I would miss her.

Since that day I stood crying in the parking lot outside of Reinke Hall, only a few departures, separations, losses, and goodbyes have pulled me to relive this same rooted emotion. I don't like this sadness, almost an emptiness.